I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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