i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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