At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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