I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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