Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
