found the other keg... it's in the tree
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
