A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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