i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
