I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
