so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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