I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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