he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
