If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
