I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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