I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
