you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
