Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
