Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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