We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
