Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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