That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
