you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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