those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize