I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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