i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
