tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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