I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
