I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
