Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
