Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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