You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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