She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
