You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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