You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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