What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Randomize
