best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
