how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
