so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
