So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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