Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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