I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
