Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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