and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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