yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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