i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
