It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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