He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
