have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
