I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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