At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
