is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need moral support for this bender
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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