Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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