hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
