they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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