sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
