i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
