I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The cops high fived after they tackled you
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize