I can text with my tongue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize