i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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