Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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