I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wish there were birth control emojis
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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