So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
