thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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