Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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