you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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