I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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