i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
