Already got asked if we're dating
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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