So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
