So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
