Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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