if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
