he wants to bone in the snuggie
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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