Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
