it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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