Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My vagina is very pro this idea
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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